Goodbyes, no funerals

Poetry, Reveries 1 Minute
An overhead view of people reflected in a mirrored room with blue lighting, showcasing a visually immersive experience.

I didn’t meet myself
until I lost the first version of me.
I must’ve been thirteen,
or fourteen?

It was a summer night.
I was getting ready for bed,
staring at the mirror
in my white nightdress.

I felt a gnawing absence
before I could name it.
Like something sacred had come undone –
I was already in mourning.

I didn’t recognize myself for days.
Then fear followed —
The fear of vanishing
from my own memory.

My identity had thrived
in perfect grades, polite silences,
and the way teachers said my name.

Who was I
if not a model child?

I couldn’t answer.
So I decided:
I was worth nothing.
And then time erased her.

Fifteen years later,
I met myself again.
Not in a mirror
but in a refusal.

I had stopped pleasing.
Stopped apologizing
for needing less applause.
This time, the absence felt like a rebirth.

I felt weightless.
Only then did I realize
how long I had carried
what was never mine to bear.

This goodbye
came as a relief.
But I suspect
I’ll meet myself one last time –

when the girl I lost
knows I made it back.
And maybe then,
I’ll be whole enough
to lose it all again.

Published by Vishakha Tiwari

Dreamer. Rebel. Hardcore.

Published

25 thoughts on “Goodbyes, no funerals”

      1. Comments often make what would have been a better title. It happens to me all the time. Your poem is excellent. I’m happy you stood up and found yourself. Good for you. You are much younger than me, but as you make your way through life, remember that you are never too old to stay in the fight. I wrote a song about that. You can listen to it on my SoundCloud if you would like: https://soundcloud.com/user-334086053/never-too-old

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  2. Vishakha, this moved me deeply. 💫 With so much love and reverence, I honor the courage in your words. Your journey from silent erasure to radiant self-return is profoundly inspiring. 🌙 Thank you for sharing this mirror of healing and remembrance — it’s a gift. May every reader feel less alone in their becoming. 🌷💖

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  4. How gorgeous. I like the tone of acceptance in this piece. And I feel there’s growth to come. Bet that first girl will be happy you brought her to the future you want her to see. Beautiful. Thanks

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  8. Very deep…we are not our grades, jobs or money maze. We are pure, subtle, energy of space! Thanks to you I learned a new word today: demitasse! 😀

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